Marat (reetzar) wrote,

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My first week of university's just about wrapping up. Then it's going to tie a red bow ribbon around itself and ship itself to the north pole with the intent to assassinate santa (who is in fact the prince of darkness in disguise). However, due to one of those random folds in the space-time continuum (helped ever so slightly by a tired postal worker who gets stranded on a desert island), it gets shipped to America and assassinates the next best thing - Dick Cheney.

Pffft, and those mimbrates think THEY can dive headling into a sentance. Eat your hearts out!

Be kinda like eating an oyster, wouldn't it? Gotta crack it out of all that metal first.

My point, however, is not in fact to ramble on and on in a garrulous manner (that comes more as an unintended by excessively indulged side-effect of the point)... What was my point again? Oh well, it's besides the point.

Now then... actually, i'm pretty sure it's more "then" than "now", as I'm writing about the past. I expect i'll be writing about the present ere long, so "now" may ascend to a position of dominance a little way down the track. I'm an equal opportunity writer.

Then, then, the week started off fairly well - which in itself was out of character. I suspect it was stifling its destructive impulses in order to commemorate the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I expect it also means that the beginning of the -next- week will more than make up for it... mondays are nothing if not predictable. And cruel, heartless, soul-devouring hellspawn. But mostly predictable. I managed not to nap through too much of monday morning lecture. I even noticed what it is our lecturer was explaining - badly. Poor souls like Mel who didn't take year 12 biology were frantically scribbling down "Dr" eleanor pierce's convoluted, innacurate facts, her unapplicable metaphors and similesand general failure to not only get to the point, but also to stop and ask directions when it became apparent that she seemed to be in the desert. On Tatooine. May she be captured my jawas and forced to clean up bantha poodoo. I've got nothing against the woman herself, she's a nice person... but so is vicky the yr 12 chem teacher. I'd prefer a nasty, cranky, Igor-ish old hag as long as she had at least the vaguest idea of how to translate her thougts into coherent, gramatically correct articulations.

The rest of the week passed into the dim, dark vaults of history in a blur of sugar and caffeine, sometimes even diluted with water. The human biology practical was interesting. Our studies have entered the realm of correct anatomical terminology, thereby significantly increasing the available number of sexual ennuendos available for use in civilised conversation. We're going down to the dissection rooms in a couple of weeks, to play with dead things. The med students went down on their first day (*shakes fist at Justin and Reece*). I'm not sure about Reece's group, but three people felt ill in Justin's group after one of the demonstrators cut open a corpse, pushed the ribs and lungs out of the way and removed the heart. Mmmmm, heart. Now i'm hungry. Justin apparently wasn't one of them. I think he enjoyed it, he kept telling me about how much fun i'd have taking people apart when i got down there. Well, either that or he's caught on to my somewhat interesting mindset which makes me predisposed to dismantling people for fun and profit. Mind like a steel trap, that boy - rusted closed so hard anything you attempted to shake it open would come out second-best. So, how's school

Today was somewhat interesting... started at one, however I came into town early to hang with Kitten and Llama. Interesting, wot? [aside: mandorallen on a charging llama]. After loosening my neck from the noose, I proceeded to my lecture, practical and tutorial, all in the Napier building. For those of you who dont spend much time in the Napier building, it's something like Hogwarts. Its floors are misnomers and dont exactly lead where they're supposed to, its elevators appear to be composed of cardboard and bad temperment in equal measure, its room numbering follows no logical order which may be grasped by any save those with a firm handle on quantum physics and improbability theory... except for those rooms, of course, which dont appear to exist at all. Perhaps they went on holidays. To Hawaii probably, visiting my damned hamster.

The Public Health practical wasn't bad... my keen sense of direction and animal magnetism caused my position to swiftly converge with that of a small group of intelligent and attractive young women. For those of you who've watched the discovery channel's documentary on the rare and elusive Obscu, you'll know that this is one of my preferred habitats. One of them even speaks as many languages as I do. I'm eternally in love, and will continue to be so for at least another four minutes.

Our tutor, who on account of his being german will hereon in be referred to as herr hitler, was a pleasant pseudo-young man who actually seemed to know what he was on about. He still, however, failed to pronounce my name properly. My new friends didn't, though *glee*. It's a small thing, but gag me with a penguin is it ever rare! herr hitler's a good teacher, but he has a very german concept of time - that is, it's currently whatever time I want it to be for as long as I wish it. 5 minutes overtime, this irritated me, and I quite promptly got up and left. This wasn't, as you may believe, a quiet sidling out the door. That wouldn't be practiclel in the situation where you happen to be in the row which is 2nd from the back. My passage out of the room was followed by dead silence. I really should get a restraining order, that silence was following me around even when it was alive. I'm being stalked by a lack of vibration of molecules in the air. I wonder how I would restrain it. Wear a small bell, maybe. The stalking silence was, in turn, followed by the rest of my practical group of about 30 people. I guess i'm an inspiring leader, because even herr hitler followed me out, though he couldn't quite seem to articulate his thoughts. He took it well though, smiled and left. I became very popular for the next couple of minutes.

My good mood was heightened by my comparative politics tutorial, which consisted of introducing ourselves, writing our names down on a slip of paper indicating which topic we wished to present on, and saying goodbye to the tutor as we left. Wewt.

And, now, back to avoiding doing any planning for saturday by whining about noone else wanting to do it for me.

see---^ ? "now"

---Obscu, because every time god masturbates, a kitten crucifies jesus.
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